What’s a moment in your life that made you feel truly alive?
During the pandemic, I would drive to Mendicino to see my friend from Battlefield. Before I got to his place, there was a little turn out to a park or trail that was basically a sea cliff. I sat there with my legs dangling over the pacific ocean.
I thought about life.
I sat there and cried. It would have been extremely easy to slip away. But it was nice to finally cry and just scream shit out loud before some San Francisco tourists came to walk the trail with their small as fuck dogs. hah. I was very aware of how I was alive at this point. All the thoughts of how I felt behind or worthless, didn’t mean anything anymore. Here I am, super miniscule and somehow I’m still thinking and alive on earth. High key, I should go back to microdosing because it really helped during that time. I was clawing myself back up and out of the hole that I willingly walked into. Maybe a little of whimsy and vibrant colors would fix me. I do know that I should get myself out of comfort once again.
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